going out of town gives me excuses for intentional, focused solitary time that i just don’t do when i’m at home. it’s silly; there are just as many places to go walk, enjoy some music and fresh air and to meditate and pray and think.

anyway. i was standing here, looking at the vast cloudscape, watching the rays of sun penetrating them. like God’s bat-signal. and mike doughty said into my ear,

They say that God is great
They say that God is love
And I believe them
Don’t fear the random fate;
I trust the hand of the almighty and the infinite

His truth is marching on
His truth is marching on

Let me know your enormity and my tininess and
Help me see your infinity and my finite-ness and

I’m f*@!ing starved for love
I deeply need to feel connection with the infinite
I want the nourishment
I need to drink it just like water, and it will sustain me

My heart is yearning now
My arms are aching for some girl or other, didn’t want me
And still I need you more
Need you to soothe this searing sadness, and the nameless gnawing

and i said, yeah, you are right.

then i went into this courtyard and sat and listened to the best album ever and spoke honestly to God like i hadn’t in a very long time, and felt Him smile at me and nod. and pour a breeze over me the whole time.

i guess why i like constant wind on me is growing up sailing. poor renee. she hates any cold air, wind or otherwise. i can’t live without it.

i also saw some small boys trying to follow this sign’s decree. some failed. you’re seriously putting an enormous fountain that just begs “jump in me” and then you toss that sign up? you’re taunting them to disobey, double-dog-daring. sigh.