it is wonderful that our Lord reads our blogs. not that He is a net.junkie. but knowing the things on my heart before i write them. things that i can’t seem to say to Him in a conversation, but that escape the gravity of my heart when my hands hit the keyboard.

so that He can know my life feels like a tough level in Castlevania sometimes… one that i’ve been playing over and over for a decade, trying to beat it and never succeeding; i die at various times in the level – sometimes reaching the stage’s boss, but usually within seconds of the start. those rare times when i get to the end and die, it’s so frustrating that i throw the controller and don’t try to play it again for months.

and that i’m waiting for Him to complete it for me, holding the controller out, tears in my eyes. sometimes i don’t feel like He’s in the room. i know He already finished the whole game, saved it.

i feel like i’ve said a thousand times that i’m done, i surrender. but i find myself back in front of the screen.

oh grace, lift the crushing load from my loathsome frame.

(i tried to find a way to work cheat codes into this analogy – one that i am rather proud of – anyway i couldn’t figure out how)